There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
