If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
