Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think people are normalizing furries
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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