That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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