Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
