We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i dont even know how to be here
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
