Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
