You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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