You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize