Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
