they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i now understand why vodka
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
