Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize