do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I would ride that face into the sunset
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
