We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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