in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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