Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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