if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
