he wants to bone in the snuggie
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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