it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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