I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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