considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
