Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
