just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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