Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i came on her dog
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
