wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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