Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
