I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
