so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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