3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Someone shattered a urinal.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize