PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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