there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
