I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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