I cockslap morals
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
