if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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