brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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