the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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