btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
And then he peed in my hair
I'm really busy with my period
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