You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
