Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize
