You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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