I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
