She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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