i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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