He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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