some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize