Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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