Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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