The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
