you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
