Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
