is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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