i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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