Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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