your parents love me but you hate me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
