My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
