I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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