Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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