We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
