I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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