so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
