i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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