yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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