I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
