Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
