if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
