So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
